Why "With" Is My Favorite Word

I've been spending the past few days with my friend KCraig and our HS friends around a table. The kitchen table in the Craig house and the corner booth at Mama Bear's have been our gathering spots as we've met with these Young Life kids to talk about their experience with Wyld Life. Something I admire about KCraig is that she has the gift of affirming whoever we're with at the moment with specific, genuine encouragement. She makes eye contact, tells them what she sees in them and smiles. I've watched Hannah, Katie, Jenna, Haleigh, Blaire, Marie, Rachel and Es all take in her words. A weight is lifted from their shoulders and they physically  relax as they realize that, "Yes, she gets me. She loves me. I belong here."

I have a post-it note on the side of my computer screen at school that say, "Community is more than fitting someone into your schedule." It would have been easy to just go through the motions of these meetings with these HS kids this week, but KCraig knows that this time with our friends is valuable. I hope that each kid walks away feeling known and loved and valuable.

The Science of Happiness did a segment interviewing kids about their family. They discovered,  "Being a good parent isn't about how much time you spend with your children, it's about the quality of the time. And that's a direct result of your ability to stay present when you're with them." I understand that desire to have the person you're with be there. It's frustrating to spend time with friends that are on their phone, thinking about what they have to do next or preoccupied with something else going on. When you're with someone, be with them.

I think so much of what I learned about being with people I learned at Camp. As a camper and as a counselor I have been incredibly thankful that so many distractions are removed from Tecumseh so we can really be with one another. We eat meals with our whole cabin. We stand in chapel with friends on both sides of us. We play on the blobs and the rope swing with our lake buddy. We walk to River Village while we sing songs with our campers. You are very rarely alone at camp. And I love all of that with-ness.         

In a Momastery Post from Glennon she wrote, "I learned that people need help. And the people who need the most help are the ones too lost to ask for it. I learned the importance of a net. People need a net. Nets are groups of people who watch out closely for each other. Who notice when someone needs help. Who have the skills to help when real help is needed." Her therapist told her, "Glennon, that's your life's work. You are creating a net." 

Honestly, I think that's exactly what I'm most passionate about too. I want to create nets for people. There were seasons of my life when I didn't have or wasn't aware of the nets in my own life and I desperately wanted them. That drives my passion to create and be part of the nets for people around me. 

CILT sessions are nets.
Campaigners groups are a net.
Bible studies on Friday mornings are a net.
The FBC is a net.
Young Life family is a net.
Wednesday fiesta girls are a net.

I was talking to Audrey, a Junior High girl, about a friend of hers recently. The two of them are growing apart and she really misses how close they used to be. The friend is spending more time with people that might not be changing her for the better and Audrey is just so sad. We talked about if the friendship was worth fighting for and what she might to do to talk to her. Then Audrey told me, "At church on Sunday, the sermon was about parenting, which doesn't really apply to me, but they said your kids should be able to talk to someone other than just their mom or dad. Thanks for being that person for me." 

Getting to be that person, getting to be with these girls, is my very favorite thing. 

As a teacher I'm thankful that I get to be with my students every single day. It's not always easy and I'm not always really great at it, but I know that my time with them is important. Hopefully I'm teaching them even more about life than I am about writing. 

As a Young Life leader I look forward to my time with my girls-- from 7th graders to Seniors. Whether I'm singing with them at the start of Club, talking with them during a one on one at camp, laughing with them during chick flick Sunday or going out to dinner with them I get to show them the love of Christ by just being with them. My hope is that our time together will always point them back to Him because one day we won't be such a big part of each other's lives but He will still be with them. 

As a counselor I love being with my campers. After a few summers on staff I realized that my time with those kids was my main priority and more important than my time with the other staff. Some of the counselors are still some of my best friends, but I know I've only got one or two weeks to share devotions, walks, games and pool time with these kids. I want them to know that I'm in this with them. 

We recently spent a day in class writing lists of things we're thankful. Most of things on my list include the word with.

Making bracelets with Julia
Going to Steak n Shake with Brookie
Making crafts with the 8th grade girls
Leading with KCraig
Playing with Linc and Red
Talking with the FBC girls
Having dinner with Emily and Rachel
Living in Choctaw with Ellyn
Going on adventures with Smooney
Walking in the hall before 6th period with Cecilia and Fudge
Having heart to hearts with Mags
Writing letters with Fitzie
Going to DC with the 8th Graders

I want my life to keep be about being with people-- being present, being invested, creating nets and doing life together.