I had to wait after school today so I went to get a cup of coffee and then sat on a blue bench out front reading "The Scorch Trials". I was attempting rest. I think I liked it. During school there had been crazy weather that forced all the kids to sit in the hallway but while I was reading the weather was perfect.
I went to a visitation today. It was sad and broke my heart. I don't get death. I don't know what to say to people in pain. The only thing I know that we can do is to show up. My friend Amanda told me, "We've got to go and be there but then we can't stop. After the visitation and funeral we've got to keep being there for her and let her know that we care." I don't understand death but I understand that community makes it easier to deal with.
Tonight I gave the talk at the Young Life halloween club. I talk in-front of kids in my class everyday so it surprises me that I still get nervous when I give a talk. My hands literally shake-- so strange.
I think that I'm nervous because this has such a different purpose. I believe that when leaders share stories about Christ that he shows up and that kids lives are changed as we think about things with a new perspective.
I talked about questions. I love questions that make me think, challenge me, and change my perspective. I told the story of a little girl I used to know named Baighleigh and how the loss of her life made me ask God questions. We watched the music video "Unwinding Cable Car" from Anberlin that is full of questions. I talked about questions that Jesus asked people thousands of years ago that I think are still applicable to our lives today. I talked about questions I heard campers ask God this past summer. We wrote questions we wish we could ask God tonight.
When we ask the hard questions we have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We may not get an answer we like or we may not get any answer at all. But I believe questions are worth asking.
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