Ch 35

A camp story

My summer calendar is organized from week 1 through week 9 instead of June, July and August. Because Tecumseh runs in my blood, the color green represents Responsibility, Blazers and the M & Ms that will make you sick. A camp-kid since birth, I know this place better than I know myself and would dare say I'm it's biggest fan. Yet even with all that love, I know it's not perfect yet.

I also lead as a counselor at Young Life camps in the summer. One of the key components of the week are one on one conversations between leaders and campers. I think these talks are one of the keys to their long-term success and why kids feel so connected to their leaders. The conversations can range from fifteen minutes to two hours, but no matter the length they make an impact on the kid because someone took the time to listen. No agenda, no hurry to get somewhere else, no one stealing the attention. These talks are about someone showing that they love you enough to listen to your story. If I could change one thing about Tecumseh I would build in time for the counselors and all of the campers to have one on one talks.

Packed with activities from sun-up to sun-down, Tecumseh's schedule just doesn't have the space for all of these talks. Both camps are excellent, we're just very different. At Camp T we dash from breakfast to chapel and then scatter all over the village for our clinics. After lunch we go from the lake to the kickball field to pop stop and the Amazing Race. If only there were more hours in the day I would try to merge the two camping programs. Because I've seen the strengths of each program I try to bring what I can to the other place as I work with my girls.

Now when I'm at Tecumseh I'm more intentional about looking for opportunities to talk with my campers in the midst of all the craziness and hectic fun. I think lots of counselors have already been doing this for years, many without even realizing it's what they were doing. When I was a kid I remember hearing about a Buffalo counselor that would spend his rest hours talking with one boy at a time on their front porch instead of taking advantage of the down time. Giving up your rest hour is a huge sacrifice in the day of a camp counselor, but this guy believed it was worth it. My hope is that if I look for one on one times with my girls it'll become a natural thing. These talks have become some of my favorite memories.

When one of my CILT girls couldn't participate in Lake Time I opted to go sit with her on the hill. Even though it was boiling outside and the lake would have been so refreshing, Katie and I sat side by side in a little spot of shade for over an hour. We watched everyone playing all over the lake front and pointed out kids we knew and other CILTs, talked about her life and got short visits from campers running over to get drinks from their water bottles. Even though I spent two weeks with Katie, this hour at the lake still stands out as the most significant experience we shared. I was able to ask questions and find out things about her story that I wouldn't have otherwise.

My favorite girl devotion takes us down to the bank of the Tippecanoe River. We finish with a prayer while looking out at the water and the light of the stars and moon shining so bright. It's the perfect place to just think and keep praying silently so the girls have the freedom to stay there as long as they want before heading back up the hill to our cabin. So many memorable conversations have happened right there with girls that needed so desperately to ask a question or have someone hear their story. I'll never forget when one of the first girls to turn to go back up the hill came and asked me if she could talk with me. We walked the Main Camp loop together several times. She shared about her life and her friends and her family and this battle she was having between who she was and who she wanted to be. I asked Claire more questions and sometimes gave advice when she asked. Our steps in sync with one another, we kept walking the gravel loop passing by empty playing fields and counselors sitting on their candlelit porches. It was late by the time we went back to the cabin to sleep but that talk was more than worth it.

I love running all over camp during Gold Rush and having dance parties in front of the Trading Post before lunch. I'm a huge advocate of wearing overalls on a regular Tuesday and putting on a wolf shirt every Wednesday even though it's really ugly. I love when things are bright and loud and fun and crazy and everyone is together. I want to integrate some party and celebration in every single day. These are the moments that I take pictures of, the activities that get filmed for the camp DVD, the things we talk about when we look back on the week. But while all of those are awesome and fun parts of the camp week, I think the quieter moments of conversation are sometimes more important. They never get photographed or have a lot of hype surrounding them, but I'd bet that campers never forget them.

Sydney was quieter than normal when we walked back to our cabin one night from our last activity. I asked her if she wanted to talk while everyone headed back inside for showers before devotions. She hadn't opened up to the group or me yet but I could tell there was something she needed to talk about. We sat on the wooden bench that wraps around the porch while she talked, nervously picking at the friendship bracelets on her wrist.  In that moment she had all of my attention. On the very first day she told us, "I usually just stand around awkwardly until someone comes and talks to me." She's not alone in that thought, so many kids feel unnoticed at home. But at camp we try to make everyone feel like the most important kid. It's difficult with a group of 30 girls to make sure everyone feels like they have their own time, but right then Sydney was the only girl I was focused on. She opened up and was so vulnerable and honest with me. We talked for awhile and I got to tell her things that I don't know if she'd ever been told before--that she's valuable and loved and worth being friends with and talented and that God has great plans for her life. I asked her if it would be ok if I prayed for her. She nodded her head and wiped a couple tears from her cheek as I started. It was one of the best moments of my whole summer just sitting with her and talking at the end of the day.

Tecumseh is split into two villages based on age, the youngest kids live in River Village and the older kids are up in Lake Village. Some people might assume that you can only have meaningful one on one conversations with the Warriors and Pathfinders up in Lake. Because I am a CILT counselor I get to have the best of both worlds; older kids at the beginning of the summer and the youngest for the last few weeks. I get to see how in so many different situations age really doesn't matter that much, everyone just wants someone to listen. Some of my most memorable conversations have been with little kids like 10-year-old Kirsten on the way to chapel or with 8-year-old Lily while we floated on pool noodles.

Erin was in our cabin at the end up of the summer for two whole weeks even though it was her first time at Tecumseh. She was a tiny girl with a face full of freckles and auburn hair. Because she developed a habit of following me around and sticking by my side we nick-named her Little Bug. Erin was goofy and made me laugh all day long whether she was turtling on a beach ball in the pool or reenacting the entirety of Sound Of Music using a hamper on wheels as her dancing partner for the big numbers. I would have kept Little Bug in my cabin all summer long. The first night of the second week, a few minutes after we'd turned off the lights, I heard quiet sniffling coming from a bunk on the other side of the cabin. My first thought was that it must be one of our new girls who had seemed timid that day. But when I got to the source of the tears, I found Erin in her bunk. She couldn't sleep and was starting to miss home after being gone for so long and realizing she still had a week to go. Little Bug climbed down from top bunk and came to sit and whisper with Jamie, my co-counselor, and I. We talked about how it was ok and normal for her miss home after this long. She missed a few friends from last week but knew that this next week be fun too. We told her about the activities planned for the next few days and reassured her she could come talk to us when she felt homesick again. Spending time with just her counselors was exactly what she needed--someone to listen and understand where she was coming from.

Whether I'm at Tecumseh, at a Young Life camp or teaching in my classroom I want to be mindful of how important it is to listen to people. It's easy to get caught up in busy schedules and wanting people to hear what we have to say, but the selfless and most powerful thing we can do is to listen. I'm not perfect at this by any means. Sometimes I miss opportunities but I'm trying to keep my eyes open. The times I got to sit and talk with Katie, Claire, Sydney and Erin last summer were better than anything I could have planned or orchestrated on my own. I've learned that we don't need to come up with a quick response or have just the right words to say. Our presence is the most important part. I want to invest in relationships and remember that it's as easy as asking to hear someone's story.