A camp story
"Tonight at campfire Vince talked a little bit about the I'm Third motto. What is that?" I say to the whole group of 30 CILT girls.
"God is first, others are second, and I'm third," they all say in unison as the candlelight flickers on their faces. Most of them have been coming to camp for years and they can recite these words without even thinking about them. Here at camp we try to make our culture rooted in the motto so that being 3rd can become a way of life. Every cabin from the far end of the Oregon Territory all the way up to Whitetail Lodge is focusing on this concept as they sit in their devotion circle tonight.
"Right," I tell them. "But let's think about how that actually works. What does it look like to put people before ourselves?" Hands shoot up and girls suggest letting someone go before you in line, helping people clean up their area in the morning, being nice, not talking about people behind their backs, looking out for people who need a friend and including them.
"Yes, absolutely, all of those are great things that we should be doing," I tell them. I flip open the bible in my lap to 1 Thessalonians 5:10-12. "In the bible God says, Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you, and the Message paraphrase of the Bible writes it like this, Speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it."
"We're going to do something really cool that's going to help us to be intentional about building each other up and speaking encouraging words to each other during CILTs." I put a stack of brown paper lunch bags in the center of the circle, "In a minute everyone is going to write their name on the front of one of these bags and it is going to be your love tank. This is a physical representation of a love tank that we all already have inside of us. When we put other people before ourselves by being kind or saying uplifting things to them we're filling up their tanks. You know how good it feels when someone gives you a compliment or tells you they noticed something really cool you did?" the girls nod their heads.
"We're going to tape all of our tanks up on the long wall by the bathrooms. All session long we want you to be writing notes to other girls and dropping them in their tanks. You can tell them why you think they're special, why you love to be their friend, give them encouragement about something they're going through, write them a prayer, or just a note to brighten their day. Anything works. Wouldn't it be so cool if you eventually wrote notes for everyone here?" I ask. "Ok, go ahead and grab a bag and a marker." The girls dive forward to grab a bag and a marker of their favorite color.
Each one writes her name on their bag extra large and some add a flower, heart or smiley face for decoration. We talk about the other two parts of the creed and make a list of our cabin goals before we close in prayer tonight.
...
During rest hour and shower time all week the girls write love tank notes. Some use whole sheets of notebook paper, others rip up pieces of construction paper or use the squares of printer paper we leave in the cabin. At least once a day you reach down into your own love tank when you pass the bathroom to see if you've gotten any notes. If you're lucky you grab onto a piece of paper and then pull it out to read right away or save it to look at later that night.
Lizzie- So I've decided that you are super good with kids! I think its really cool that today (Sunday) at pool and lake time you hung around with the kids, getting to know them, instead of laying around with the CILTS. Also tonight at dinner when you were talking to a little boy I could see the passion that you have for kids, and i think its really great and inspirational. - Brenna
The more love tank notes you get the more you want to write and give away. Kindness really is contagious. Some of the most special ones come from people you haven't really gotten to know yet and it means the world that they noticed something about you. These notes are a chance for some girls that are great friends to finally articulate how the other person has made such a tremendous difference in their life. Anonymous notes make some people crazy as they try to figure out the author but its really cool to think that anyone could have written those kind words.
hey grace, I think you're awesome! you've got this quiet confidence thing going on; it's something I want to work on, and you've inspired me to do so. (anonymous)
Just a brown paper bag and scraps of paper, this love tank becomes a treasure. Girls double check their suitcases on the last day to make sure they haven't left it behind and that its packed safely away. I think that these love tanks are incredible because they're so different than what we're used too.
Maggie, Just know that you are so, so loved. You are beautiful and such a good listener. You care about others so much and so many people care about you. Alli
I work with junior high and high school kids all year long and see that its normal to tease your friends. We're used to cruel text messages and mean things typed on Facebook. People don't set a higher standard for the way you treat and speak to your friends. The saddest part is that everyone just gets used to it. We accept people saying, "You're so stupid... Just kidding," and shrug it off like it doesn't matter. We can almost become desensitized from hurtful comments. Maybe that's why love tanks have become one of the CILT girls favorite things about camp. Suddenly we've flipped the standard and are saying, "Be vulnerable and compassionate. Connect with people in a deeper, more meaningful way. Be open, kind, and bold." This is a better way to live. When we do what God instructs us and encourage and build each other up life works better.
Alli, I like when you hug me. You are the most comforting, non-judgemental person I know. I'm so happy I met you. -Mary Claire
Now at CILT reunions we make sure to schedule in time for filling up love tanks with notes because it is one of the things we miss most from the summer. It is almost overwhelming when we sit down to write because, "I want to write one for everyone. Can we have more time?" the girls say. We listen to music and write quickly with our head bent down focused. There is so much to write.
Col- your friendship to me this year has meant so much. Its such a great feeling to know I have someone who cares so much about me right down the street. I hope you know I'm always here for you. I love you col. -molly
"I haven't read all my love tanks yet," one CILT told us,"I'm saving them for when I have a bad day and reading them one at a time. They each make me so happy."
Annie-annie annie annie. you are just so awesome. i love and cherish our friendship so much. i look forward to our visits and talks and your presence in my life has been such a blessing to me. you are just really great, more so than i think you know. i'm excited to spend this summer with you. haleigh
This way of being 3rd is becoming a habit. Going beyond letting someone cut you in the line for the water fountain, we're figuring out how we can love other people well not just at camp but all year long. "I put mine in my locker at school so I could see it during the day. My friends noticed it and when I told them about it they thought it was so cool they each put a love tank in their locker too," she explained. "Now we're all writing love tanks to each other during school." I think that these girls are sometimes writing more honestly than they would speak, we're not used to telling people compliments face to face. These love tanks are making people feel loved, special, and important a few words at a time.
riley,
i just love you.
-eileen
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